Love lost.

So I decided to make a new blog because my old one was all about my now ex-boyfriend david. Even the email was about him.

Some background...
I was with David for 3 years and 3 months exactly. The last few months of our relationship was....well beyond perfect. Rocky at best. We had our good times, but for some reason this past summer he just changed. He acted like I was nothing to him. We broke up once on July 3, but got back together on the 4th.
I tired so hard all summer long. God knows I tried, but it just seemed pointless. His attitude did not change no matter what I did. He seemed very irritated with me anymore. His friend Drew and I started talking and hanging out and it just felt right. It was nice to, for once, have someone call me beautiful.
One night David and I got into a huge fight and we broke up. I started dating Drew the next day. I jumped into the relationship so I could push aside all feelings I had for David. I wanted to get over him and for the most part I did. Within 2 weeks we were engaged. Was I rushing? Yes, but at the time I thought it was all perfect.
A week later I broke down crying after deleting all the photos of David and I. That is when it finally hit me. Three weeks after we broke up. I cried in Drew's arms over David. At that point I started thinking about everything.
I told Drew that Sunday we rushed into it and we postponed the wedding. A week later (this past Sunday) I broke up with him. I just couldn't handle it. I am NOT over David. Will I ever be? That is the question I keep asking myself.
For as amazing as Drew is I just couldn't handle it anymore.
David and I agreed to be friends for Brodey's sake. He says he has feelings for me, but I just cannot quite tell. He kissed me yesterday. It makes me feel so confused. He says he wants to be with me, but needs time. I totally understand that. I mean I did pretty much leave him for his FRIEND, but toying with my feelings is getting both of us no where.
I suppose I should just think about everything and move on? Drew really is amazing......I just need my time to think about things and get over David.
I will admit that this whole thing hurts like a bitch, but there is not much I can do. I cannot force David to be with me. I just miss the old times I guess. What is weird is to see him texting other girls and hearing about his dates. But I guess it was probably weird to hear that I was engaged to someone else.
I really thought he was the one I would grow old with. I used to picture our wedding and our lives together and it just seemed so perfect. I guess that is why it is called a day "dream". We had our good times, but it seems to me that the time we had together just came to an end all too quickly.
I will always love David.