Doin alright...

Things are going pretty good. (for the most part..)

FRIDAY-
Was amazing! I went to The Church dance club with David. My cousin Amanda and two of her friends showed up. We danced till like 12:30! I didnt wanna go! Dancing is just freeing! But it was snowing and of course we had to get back to Brodey. So we drove him. It was good till we hit Westminster. It was like a skating rink at that point. We didnt get home till about 1. David spent the night because he was tired and I didnt want him driving anymore. The weather was getting worse.


SATURDAY-
David went home for a while and came back. Then Brodey, David, my mom, and I went to dinner at the Olive Garden. After that we rented a couple movies and watched them. In the begining of the second one David fell asleep. He like passed out. I could hardly even wake him. He told me to text his brother and tell him to pick him up in the morning.

Then Sunday I drove him and Brodey to his brother's work. (His brother had his blazer for homecoming the previous evening.) Then David brought Brodey back Sunday night and put in child safety stuff for us.


I really wish that things were different. That his family would forgive me like he did. I know I made a mistake but last time I checked I was only human. I miss his family sometimes. Like being able to go over to his house also and eating dinner with them.

Why do memories have to stay? I hate them. That is the hardest part is remembering all those times together. I opened up my diary and read it last night and cried a little bit because of all the memories. Things I totally forgot that happend.
Sometimes I wish that the memories all disappeared and the only thing about him that I could remember was that he is my son's father. I wish I could fall asleep and wake up tomorrow not remembering the bad or good memories. 39 months with someone is such a long time. So many memories...

Sometimes I feel as if I am the only person in the world that is going through this. That feels this way. I feel alone. I know that I am not, and their are people I can talk to like my mom, but it is hard. You know? When I feel like this the one person I want to talk to is David.

To his family:
I apologize for everything that was ever said.

I hate holding grudges. I hate being hated. I cannot stand it when someone holds a grudge against me. I hate feeling like the most hated person in the world. I wish things were different! I wish I could take it all back!!!!